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Post by faintsilhouette on Jan 4, 2014 15:14:14 GMT
People getting offended over the non-offensive.
This is not based solely on my own experiences, I've seen this happen to a number of other people lately and its begun to wear on my nerves. All of these people claiming they feel “hurt” and “offended” by people who, really and truly, aren't doing anything to them. Now I know I personally come across as a little harsh but these are not JUST /my/ personal experiences and its mostly people making mountains out of molehills. And before anyone thinks that this is directed at any one person or incident, allow me to reiterate that is NOT and that this kind of thing has happened MORE THAN ONCE. This is NOT directed at you as any one person, sorry, you’re not that special. Was that offensive? No. It’s a truth. You’re no more important than the next average Joe and that’s how it is, has been, and will always be. So this brings me to my first thing, truth hurts.
Truth hurts. Yeah. And you know what? You can’t get angry at someone for speaking the truth. Insulting you? Sure. But speaking the truth? Not really. If I went so far as to call you an “idiot,” then yes, quite frankly I’m being hurtful and that’s an opinion, not a truth. So yes. I will agree, calling names and directly insulting someone IS offensive. Speaking the truth, however, is not.
For example, let’s say I need an English tutor and you want to be my English tutor but your skills lie in math. Your test scores have constantly shown that you have VERY low performance in English and you are only good at math. And I might politely say I don’t want /your/ help because you don’t have the skills I need or want in an English tutor. Am I being offensive or hurtful? No. The offer made was nice but I’m not being “offensive” by declining it just as I would decline someone’s participation in anything else, like for instance, trading or a role-play. To put it simply, if someone denies doing something with or for you because you can’t contribute something of the nature/quality that they want, they’re not being offensive. You just don’t have what it is they want you to give back and its nothing to go crybaby-butt hurt about.
Another thing I don’t appreciate is the condoning of the attention whores as of late, particularly when it’s about being excluded from a role-play or a trade. People get attacked by random bystanders because said bystanders just OVERHEAR what an attention-wanting drama kind/queen is whining about and then end up attacking/verbally assaulting completely innocent people. Is that REALLY necessary to get your feelings hurt over? Heavens no. People blocking or screaming at other people just because they don’t wish to trade with you? Oh /come on./ A tantrum? Over /that?/ Have a little more dignity for yourself. It’s ridiculous.
Worse yet are people who pitch a fit when they’re not allowed into closed or private RP’s. If the limit is five people , guess what? its FIVE people. Not six. Not seven. It’s extremely obnoxious that these people go looking to be that “special exception just this once.” Sorry. Like I said, you’re NOT special or any more important than anyone else. Why is that so hard to understand? I realize the reality of it sucks but it’s not that hard of a concept to grasp. DON’T blow it out of proportion.
You missed a deadline. You didn’t find out soon enough and now you can’t get in it. That’s simply reality. For those of you who haven’t hit adulthood? These kinds of things happen a LOT in adulthood and you DON’T get special exceptions at random. Lightning strikes and the power goes out. Nature WON’T feel bad for you and turn it back on. The country club won’t let you in if it has too many members or unless you’re willing to pay for it to get in. They just won’t. There's too many things in the world that will make you uncomfortable without rhyme, reason, or remorse. Learn to deal with your problems or prevent/prepare for them before they start INSTEAD of becoming an attention seeker.
And allow me to say it’s NOT just the younger players of the game, I won’t direct this for any singled-out age group because it is players of ALL ages who are guilty. Young teens, older teens, and even adults! And the whole argument about people being “more sensitive?” I’m sorry but that’s a pretty poor argument. Imagine if people with sensitive skin didn't just put on a cream before they walked out of the house and learned to get over it. Imagine what would happen if they /didn’t/ do that. It wouldn't make sense if they suddenly made a scene EVERY time they had an itch to scratch, now would it? Get in control of your emotions. No one is directly insulting you, they just don’t want to trade or role-play with you and they have EVERY right to say so. Get over it. I know I'm not the he most soft-spoken person in the world, but its both annoying and sad seeing a LOT of others, particularly nice and polite people, getting portrayed as the "bad guy" lately, just for telling someone "no."
And to prevent any conflict, a few ground rules.
1. NO using names. Do NOT use someone’s name. Ever
2. DON’T single out any single incident that would make it perfectly clear who you’re talking about and DON’T use dates or places. Meaning if it was drama in default and EVERYBODY saw it, don’t go “Well it was this girl in default doing such and such the other day and she was doing….whatever.” Keep it ambiguous.
3. This thread is for people who want to commiserate a little bit and have the chance to say “This does or does not happen to me all the time” How do you deal with these people? Do you ignore these people? Do you move to party chat? Do you just block them?
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Post by BazookaNeon on Jan 5, 2014 2:41:28 GMT
This is so. Darn. True. Listen up guys, because to be frank, most people aren't going to care what you think. Life doesn't cater to you.
Regardless of who you are, an opinion from someone else that goes against yours, or, explaining how they honestly feel in a polite manner might hurt your feelings, but it's no reason to attack them for it. It doesn't do anything to help, in fact, it just makes you look mean. People aren't going to want to roleplay with others like who are like that.
The important thing here is to have curtesy to others and their limits. Share what you are and are not comfortable rping with in a polite manner beforehand. Do a favor and be polite and respect others limits as well, because if you don't, it'll ruin your roleplay experience.
What Silhouette explains here is very true and very important. Guess what. You don't improve without constant practice and critiquing. How are you going to improve when you don't know what areas you are weak in? If my friends hadn't pointed out mine, it would have taken much longer for me to get where I am now.
So deal with it. Things are going to hurt, but life is going to be that way. It doesn't serve things on a platter.
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Banana1003
Active Member
January MotM 2014
Hallo <33
Posts: 184
Ingame Username: Banana1OO3
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Post by Banana1003 on Jan 5, 2014 2:52:59 GMT
I completely agree with this, but sometimes people might judge others on what they think is true, but it really isn't. For example, say someone calls someone else a rude name. The name-caller may think it's true, but it really isn't. And even if someone is saying the truth, they shouldn't be blunt and direct, but use tact and "I" messages to avoid conflict. Although I do agree with the role-play part, and the "exceptions." I guess the best way to avoid problems and hurt feelings is to think before you speak, and treat others how you want to be treated. C:
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Post by LunaWolfen on Jan 5, 2014 8:04:07 GMT
Yeah. Treating others how you want to be treated is ideal in any social situation, not just online.
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Post by faintsilhouette on Jan 5, 2014 15:13:26 GMT
I completely agree with this, but sometimes people might judge others on what they think is true, but it really isn't. For example, say someone calls someone else a rude name. The name-caller may think it's true, but it really isn't. And even if someone is saying the truth, they shouldn't be blunt and direct, but use tact and "I" messages to avoid conflict. Although I do agree with the role-play part, and the "exceptions." I guess the best way to avoid problems and hurt feelings is to think before you speak, and treat others how you want to be treated. C: Well, as I said, calling someone a name is an opinion, not a truth. If someone has issues with confusing the two, that's another issue entirely and I don't think the majority should have to stay silent just because a few people can't tell the difference. But you ARE right. It still happens and there isn't much that can be done but hope the person figures it out sooner or later. As for not being blunt and direct, if we're dealing with the type of people that I'm talking about, that "sugar-coating" as I like to call it will do nothing more than confuse the issue. I've tried it and people still manage to make mountains out of molehills but the problem with sugar coating is, it does not spell out the problem. Saying "Sorry Johnny, we don't have any more room." is way more effective than "I'm really sorry Johnny, but we're full right now. Could you please maybe check back later and we might have more space?" Why? First off, the second message is longer (and unfortunately some people's attention spans are not), second the second message is potentially false promise and an invitation for future problems because a few weeks to a few months later, it turns into Johnny saying "But you said you'd have more space for me later, now its later. What gives?" And then you have to sit and explain to him that you said that you "might" have more space which he may or may not remember and that creates /another/ issue. Do you /really/ want to deal with that? I personally, would not. And wouldn't it, in the end, be kinder to the guy to just tell it to him straight like it does in the first message, in the first place? I would not want to sugar-coat if I KNOW that the likelihood of the person getting involved is slim to none. Spelling it out for them, rather than sugar coat gets the point across the first day. Little "Johnny" can afford to deal with disappointment. Its going to happen. Why lead him along? Saying "Sorry Johnny, we have no room." is not offensive in the /slightest./ Its short, sweet, and to the point. If someone can't handle rejection, even simple polite rejection like that, then its their problem because no one else can control their emotions /except/ for them themselves. Know what I mean? This is so. Darn. True. Listen up guys, because to be frank, most people aren't going to care what you think. Life doesn't cater to you.
Regardless of who you are, an opinion from someone else that goes against yours, or, explaining how they honestly feel in a polite manner might hurt your feelings, but it's no reason to attack them for it. It doesn't do anything to help, in fact, it just makes you look mean. People aren't going to want to roleplay with others like who are like that.
The important thing here is to have curtesy to others and their limits. Share what you are and are not comfortable rping with in a polite manner beforehand. Do a favor and be polite and respect others limits as well, because if you don't, it'll ruin your roleplay experience.
What Silhouette explains here is very true and very important. Guess what. You don't improve without constant practice and critiquing. How are you going to improve when you don't know what areas you are weak in? If my friends hadn't pointed out mine, it would have taken much longer for me to get where I am now.
So deal with it. Things are going to hurt, but life is going to be that way. It doesn't serve things on a platter. Exactly. People need to wake up and remember that they /are/ online and that the people they are online with are NOT their parents or significant other, or whatever. Just like strangers in real life, strangers on the internet don't KNOW you. A lot of them will take the MOST direct route into getting a point across to you so that they don't have to tangle with you very long. If someone is content and doing something and you accidentally interrupt it in order to be involved, that is (for a MINUTE) understandable. However, if its been told to you already that there isn't enough to go around and they cannot give you any means to be involved and you CONTINUE to linger around and harass and whine about it, think about WHO is being the rude one. Certainly not the people you're disturbing! It would be like walking in on a private conversation. There are simply some things people do not want to share. And they have every right not to share with you, especially if they don't know you. So do you walk up to a private conversation and suddenly EXPECT to be involved, told every little detail of a long and drawn-out story that you haven't been around to follow very closely, and caught up to the present and involved from that point on? No! So WHY do so many people get upset about the same thing happening with a role-play? Furthermore, catching people up (for some more complicated roleplays and things) is /exhausting./ You have to remember every little detail of every little thing and then on top of that, correct mistakes of the less informed party as you go along, re-post, back-track, etc. That is TIRING and some people just want to chat with one another or RP with one another and be /left alone./ Not everyone is out there looking for tons and tons of friends like some people, and that should be respected. Some people also don't want to be up in arms trying to keep track of umpteen billion people's drama, be it from real life or just in a role-play. There are MORE than enough people on this game that you can simply say "Oh. Ok." and go on your merry way and find someone else. People are not /obligated/ to entertain each other like some people are inclined to think. And I feel especially bad for the players who JUST want to chat and do not role-play or who do not even want to chat and just want to run around, hunt, and collect as many items as they can in the game. I've seen other people try to bully/harrass these players into entertaining them. That is sad and incredibly rude. Yet when someone cries "He/She won't play with me! He/She's being mean to me!" Guess who's probably going to get the blame? Uh-huh. The guy doing nothing wrong who just moments before was being coerced into doing something they don't want to do. People don't go on the internet to entertain you. They go on the internet to entertain /themselves/ in a way they see fit. And I agree, criticism should not be demonized IF it is delivered correctly. Point out a strength /and/ a weakness. I also agree telling people your expectations /beforehand/ is probably one of the best things anyone can do to prevent problems. Nothing will come as a surprise. Yeah. Treating others how you want to be treated is ideal in any social situation, not just online. Exactly. Why people suddenly like to pretend the rules change just because they're online is ridiculous. :/
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Post by Chesire cat on Jan 5, 2014 20:48:24 GMT
It's more like its a Bully Thing. Not Much but Kinda Like it. If treating somebody like they are Acting tough then They are just Being Rude and Making You feel Weak About It. People can't Fight Back because They are Scared Of Going Into Detail of more Being Less into it and Walking Away of it. There are Times that People are going to Insulting you and Feeling you Like you want to die. That's the Worst Thing that a Person would Ever Face of Even a Person Who didn't Do Anything.
Even In CyberBullying, There are Some Games or Even Places That are Dangerious and Most Likely Be Hurtful. These need To change for People's Feelings.
~Chesire Cat
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Post by LunaWolfen on Jan 6, 2014 7:38:22 GMT
Yeah. You don't need to sugar coat it but don't be nasty either.
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CadyD16
Active Member
"I mean, I wouldn't be THAT opposed to it--"
Posts: 176
Ingame Username: CadyD16
Prizedraw Number: 16
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Post by CadyD16 on Jan 7, 2014 4:54:12 GMT
Furthermore, catching people up (for some more complicated roleplays and things) is /exhausting./ You have to remember every little detail of every little thing and then on top of that, correct mistakes of the less informed party as you go along, re-post, back-track, etc. That is TIRING and some people just want to chat with one another or RP with one another and be /left alone./ Not everyone is out there looking for tons and tons of friends like some people, and that should be respected. Some people also don't want to be up in arms trying to keep track of umpteen billion people's drama, be it from real life or just in a role-play. Out of all the things you said on this matter, I can safely say I connected with this bit the most. Hit me right where I live, man. Once you have your tight-knit group of friends, immediately wanting to find more is... a nonexistent urge. Completely nonexistent. I mean, this isn't to say you're totally and one hundred percent unwilling to make any more. But it's just good to hang out with the people you know once in a while in some random dim at four in the morning. Y'know what I mean? On the FH forum, I took part in a debate as to whether or not dims should be added to the game. There was a poll for it. I, of course, voted "YES" and then elaborated on why. But the arguments written there for why people thought there shouldn't be dims were ridiculous. They thought it was a good thing that everyone was stuck in the same world together because it was easier for people to find friends that way. And I just balked at that. Great. You have a new friend. What are you going to go do with that new friend now? Go make more friends? I'm sorry. I'm going off topic, I know. XD Main point being: Some people very much like to be left alone. Even outside of RP matters. It doesn't mean they don't like people; If they didn't like people, they probably wouldn't know each other to begin with. But as long as people have friends, they're going to want to spend some time alone with said friend without some stranger walking in and acting like an automatic buddy. As for what would be considered RP matters, words can quite frankly not even begin to describe how much of an inconvenience it'd be if a good number of the RPs I've been in were interrupted by some person I've never met. The very person who only intends on being there for less than an hour because they assume that's how long we plan on going for before we get bored. It's disheartening for them to know they can't join, yes. But they have no way of knowing how much it ruffles feathers within the group when we've been going for so long and they just started. It feels too wrong. Like the way someone may be controlling more than one character, but can obviously be on only one at once. Someone who comes in will only see the character physically present and will have no idea what the user is talking about when they mention some random name that they're unable to place a body to. Everyone else knows exactly what that person is talking about. Everyone except that one user who just wandered in and asked to join because they had nothing else to do or none of their friends were on. Unless, of course, the person took time out to get on the other character and show them so they'd understand. But like you said, this takes time out, and if any random person who just waltzed right in had their request to join accepted, who knows how many times this multicharacter roleplayer would need to explain the whole deal over again? Well, this became a bit of a rant. But I know you don't mind in the slightest. *flails offstage*
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Post by Chesire cat on Jan 7, 2014 21:07:03 GMT
Furthermore, catching people up (for some more complicated roleplays and things) is /exhausting./ You have to remember every little detail of every little thing and then on top of that, correct mistakes of the less informed party as you go along, re-post, back-track, etc. That is TIRING and some people just want to chat with one another or RP with one another and be /left alone./ Not everyone is out there looking for tons and tons of friends like some people, and that should be respected. Some people also don't want to be up in arms trying to keep track of umpteen billion people's drama, be it from real life or just in a role-play. Out of all the things you said on this matter, I can safely say I connected with this bit the most. Hit me right where I live, man. Once you have your tight-knit group of friends, immediately wanting to find more is... a nonexistent urge. Completely nonexistent. I mean, this isn't to say you're totally and one hundred percent unwilling to make any more. But it's just good to hang out with the people you know once in a while in some random dim at four in the morning. Y'know what I mean? On the FH forum, I took part in a debate as to whether or not dims should be added to the game. There was a poll for it. I, of course, voted "YES" and then elaborated on why. But the arguments written there for why people thought there shouldn't be dims were ridiculous. They thought it was a good thing that everyone was stuck in the same world together because it was easier for people to find friends that way. And I just balked at that. Great. You have a new friend. What are you going to go do with that new friend now? Go make more friends? I'm sorry. I'm going off topic, I know. XD Main point being: Some people very much like to be left alone. Even outside of RP matters. It doesn't mean they don't like people; If they didn't like people, they probably wouldn't know each other to begin with. But as long as people have friends, they're going to want to spend some time alone with said friend without some stranger walking in and acting like an automatic buddy. As for what would be considered RP matters, words can quite frankly not even begin to describe how much of an inconvenience it'd be if a good number of the RPs I've been in were interrupted by some person I've never met. The very person who only intends on being there for less than an hour because they assume that's how long we plan on going for before we get bored. It's disheartening for them to know they can't join, yes. But they have no way of knowing how much it ruffles feathers within the group when we've been going for so long and they just started. It feels too wrong. Like the way someone may be controlling more than one character, but can obviously be on only one at once. Someone who comes in will only see the character physically present and will have no idea what the user is talking about when they mention some random name that they're unable to place a body to. Everyone else knows exactly what that person is talking about. Everyone except that one user who just wandered in and asked to join because they had nothing else to do or none of their friends were on. Unless, of course, the person took time out to get on the other character and show them so they'd understand. But like you said, this takes time out, and if any random person who just waltzed right in had their request to join accepted, who knows how many times this multicharacter roleplayer would need to explain the whole deal over again? Well, this became a bit of a rant. But I know you don't mind in the slightest. *flails offstage* Pretty much it's for the RolePlay yes..? Well then, For a RolePlay It's Completly Different to what's it call Hanging around Mostly doing Nothing. There are people who mostly can be around alone if you notice it. For the dims though that makes sence since EVERYBODY is in the same Dim as you are in. There's a Reason For having "Private" Maps of course you can send it to your Friends If Possible. But Before you can actually quote this post, You might wanna ask yourself "Why am I talking about Private stuff..?" Well that's simple.. Since mostly lag comes along and people who can leap to the way it's peaceful to be with friends than more of Random People in the Game. Roleplays for a Fact is kinda Dangerious When it comes to bad solutions or Problems to Say. The main reason is Watch out for any People who do something Crazy or Rude in any game or Place.
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Post by Wargle-Blargle on Jan 7, 2014 21:10:21 GMT
I preach this thread! Some people just don't like the truth. Well, to be completely honest, Truth Hurts. Alot sometimes :/
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Post by LunaWolfen on Jan 8, 2014 7:55:01 GMT
Yeah, but that's life. It wouldn't be life if it was sugar coated. :/
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